Have you ever seen the episode of Friends (“The One With Frank, Jr.”) where they make individual lists of five super-hot celebrities they can sleep with as a “freebie” and no one can get upset? I’ve seen all of the Friends episodes many times, and this one always makes me laugh because Ross bumps Isabella Rossellini off of his list, laminates the list, and then runs into her at Central Perk. After the episode aired, my [real] friends and I started a little game when we go to the movie theater called “Date for the Evening.” We each pick a number between 1-5 before the previews start. The leading man in our “number” preview is our “date for the evening” and no one can get mad. For instance, if I pick #4, and the movie previewed in the fourth trailer is Matthew McConaughey, then my East Texas boy is my “date” for the evening, and his wife can’t get mad. Neither can my date if I happen to be on one. Another after-effect of the Friends episode is that I made a Top Ten Laminated list. I call them my husbands. I’ve un-laminated it and changed it a few times (it’s on Pinterest, so it’s easy to “un-laminate”), but here are the main ones (the last few fluctuate):
- Michael Vartan (Vaughn from Alias)
- Christian Bale (Batman)
- Ben Affleck (Batman)
- Matthew Lillard (Shaggy from Scooby Doo)
- Joshua Jackson (Pacey from Dawson’s Creek)
- Harry Connick, Jr.
- John Krasinski (Jim from The Office)
- Edward Norton
- Jason Dohring (Logan from Veronica Mars)
- Jason Witten, Adam Levine, Orlando Bloom (as the elf), David Tennant (Doctor Who)
If you know who these men are, you can kind of see my “type”. I like tall guys. I like handsome-but-not-vain guys. I like goofy guys. And apparently I have a thing for Batman. I mean, I like Superman and Wolverine and Captain America and Ironman and Deadpool and all the other superheroes. But there are two Batmen on my top ten list. At the top. And they haven’t been ousted by any other “freebie” celebrity in over a decade. I like Batman.
So even though the critics hated it and the only people I know who raved about it were comic-book fans, I was super excited about the new Batman vs. Superman movie. I mean, My #3 Husband. As Batman. After a round of three Batman movies with my #2 husband, now I would get to see Ben as Batman. I was stoked. The movie started on Good Friday, and after our cross service (amazing, wonderful, impactful service every year where my pastor builds a full-sized cross with trees and hatchets and axes and sledgehammers and iron nails while telling the crucifixion story), I went to see it. I went alone, to a nearby theater, thinking that the late late movie would have ONE EXTRA SEAT. But no, it was full. And all showings the next day were full. In fact, the only showing that wasn’t full was on Sunday morning, and I was scheduled to sing for our Easter service that day. So I didn’t get to see it. My attention was gotten and my curiousity was fired up, however, since it seems that everyone else wanted to see it, too (and beat me to getting tickets).
Then comes the next weekend. My colleague and I had to take our Destination Imagination team to the state competition in Anna, TX (i.e., sweet little podunk town with no hotels, restaurants, or movie theaters), so I had resigned myself to the idea of not seeing the movie for yet another week. But Fate smiled upon me, and my team was finished performing and we were out of there by noon with eight hours to spare until the awards ceremony. We had plenty of time to drive to Sherman, eat a massive lunch at Cheddars, prowl around Books a Million, and go see Batman vs. Superman.
Working on less than five hours of sleep proved to be too much for my teenage boys, who fell asleep through much of the film, but not for this girl. My husband #3 was BATMAN! And he was going to fight Superman! I wasn’t sure how plot-wise this was going to play out, but knowing the cast, I figured beforehand that Lex Luthor was going to be behind it. I mean, Jessie Eisenberg? He has a knack for playing the crazy-weirdo, so I knew he would be a manipulator. Honestly, I prefer Michael Rosenbaum (who sometimes makes it onto my Top Ten Laminated List), the Lex Luthor from Smallville, but I had to accept the new one. No one else I knew was excited about Ben playing Batman, though, except for myself. I understand, really, I do. As much as I love him, I agree that he’s an amazing writer and director and just an okay actor. But everyone else was wrong and I was right. He was a great Batman! He played it a little bit differently than Christian Bale – maybe not quite as dark but definitely as in-depth (and hot). Not as cartoony as Michael Keaton (who isn’t on my list but was a great Batman) or angsty as Val Kilmer (handsome, but not list-worthy) or not-Batmanny as George Clooney (who has made it on my list before, but not as the bat). Ben was his own Batman, and I loved him in the role.
Superman was good, too. I prefer the ruggedness of Batman, however. Superman has always been the “epitome of superheroes”, but he has never been my favorite. I felt sorry for him in this movie (a direct response that was elicited by the plot), yet I was on Batman’s side. You were forced to choose sides, another direct response to the plot, and it was well-done enough to make a divided audience. A few times the action got to the point that I couldn’t tell what was going on, but after a few minutes I could sort it out. And then Wonderwoman showed up. And she was bad***. Loved her. Wanted to be her. Too much coolness to handle. Am now looking forward to her starring in a superhero movie. She saved a rather cheesy part of the movie where I was having flashbacks to the Cave Troll in Fellowship of the Ring (where my elf, see the list, saves the day). Overall, besides the fact that Lois Lane’s stiletto heels are unrealistic, I liked Batman vs. Superman and am looking forward to the continuation of this series. With husband #3 as Batman.
Seriously, I like Batman.